Embraceable Mind

Stop saying “should have,” after you lose your job . Start saying “next time.” The former is backward-facing and the latter is forward-facing.

Should have’s correct the past; something impossible to do. When you say “we should have” you belittle past wisdom and efforts

Should-have-leaders honor their critics; something that creates more critics because you get more of what you honor.

Critics frequently don’t participate but judge what was done. Critics sit on the sidelines and seldom offer useful suggestions because they are ignorant of everything that was planned and done. They tear down. If the best you can do is point out failures in others, you’re probably failing yourself.

Participants, on the other hand, offer insightful evaluations that create improvements. They establish platforms that enhance and build the future

Say, “What worked” and “What didn’t work” rather than “What went wrong.” The former acknowledges sincere effort. The latter is negative; it belittles participants.

“Should have” ties you to the past and expresses defeatist attitudes. “Next time” presses into the future and maintains momentum; something all successful leaders do.

Think positive and don’t do anything rush or bitter. As satisfying as it might be, making accusation or sending an email about everything that’s wrong with that company, your ex boss, your ex colleagues, the work place just be smart don’t do it. You need to protect your reputation now more than ever, and a bitter, hostile exit will make that impossible. Being negative holds you in the past and restrains you from the future

Put all the energy in finding the next step up and let the past “What worked” to be the starting point for your future. Better old friends than new enemies.